I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
