Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
