I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize