I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
