I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
