normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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