I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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