Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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