I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
