Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
