There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
