playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
