Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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