haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize