I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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