She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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