Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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