dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
