ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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