I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Found your dick twin last night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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