So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize