i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
