Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
