He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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