in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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