Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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