bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
