I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
