I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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