I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
