At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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