There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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