it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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