I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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