I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
