So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize