is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize