dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I am available for nakedness
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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