don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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