You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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