You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
