You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
