All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
