Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
