she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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