Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
