Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
