i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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