My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
