Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
