i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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