why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
