It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
