There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
