OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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