you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize