Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
