he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
