Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
