Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize