just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
