Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
