We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
