its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Bring me that man meat
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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