this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
