i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My bed smells like the plague
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
