Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
