Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
