She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
