Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
