remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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