I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
