I love black thongs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
