you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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