He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
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