She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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