so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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