He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
