You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
