You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
