The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
should my penis look like a turkey
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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